Supporting Your Child Through Anxiety
It’s no secret that anxiety in children and teens has been on the rise in recent years. The pressures of school, social media, and the world around them can feel overwhelming. But as a parent, you’re in the best position to help them manage their anxiety and navigate their emotions. Here’s a roadmap of supportive strategies that not only address the anxiety your child may be experiencing but also help strengthen your relationship and boost their confidence.
1. Create a Safe, Trusting Environment
Anxiety often thrives in isolation. To help your child feel supported, it’s important to build a foundation of trust. This means they should feel like they can talk to you without fear of judgment or dismissal.
Listen without interruption: Sometimes, just being a sounding board for your child can make a huge difference. Let them know you’re always there for them, even when they don’t have all the answers.
Share your own experiences: Instead of focusing solely on their anxiety, let your child see that everyone, even adults, feel nervous or overwhelmed sometimes.
For example: "I was really nervous the first time I had to give a speech in front of a class, but the more I did it, the more confident I became."
Share that overcoming those feelings made you proud or empowered, and show them that nervousness is something everyone can handle, step by step.
2. Make Anxiety a Family Conversation
Instead of making your child’s anxiety the center of attention, open up the discussion to everyone in the family. This helps to normalize anxious feelings and creates a sense of solidarity.
Ask each family member to share a time they felt nervous and how they worked through it. This can help your child realize that anxiety doesn’t define them—it’s something they can manage.
Example: “I was nervous to ride a bike when I was younger, but after a few tries, I absolutely loved it. Now, it’s one of my favorite things to do!”
Example: “I was anxious about going to camp without my friends, but I ended up making new friends and having the best summer of my life.”
By sharing these experiences, you’re showing that everyone faces challenges, and it’s okay to feel nervous or anxious—it’s all about how you respond to it.
3. Build Confidence Through Small Wins
One of the most powerful ways to help your child manage anxiety is to encourage them to face small, manageable challenges that they might not believe they can do.
Set them up for success: This isn’t about pushing them into the deep end, but about offering opportunities where they can feel a sense of accomplishment. Whether it’s finishing a puzzle, learning how to cook a simple meal, or mastering a new hobby, small wins help build resilience.
Encourage teaching moments: Have your child teach you something they’re passionate about. This could be anything from showing you how to play a video game to explaining a scientific concept. This not only builds their confidence, but also reinforces the idea that they have valuable skills and knowledge.
Make it fun, even if it’s silly: Take the pressure off by trying new activities together—like learning to bake or paint or going on a nature walk—and be okay with the fact that things might not turn out perfectly. Goofy moments often make the best memories.
4. Create an Organized, Judgment-Free Zone
Many children and teens with anxiety may feel overwhelmed by clutter or disorganization in their personal space, but they might also feel embarrassed or ashamed of it. Rather than criticizing or forcing them to clean, offer gentle support.
Offer organizational tools without judgment: If your child is open to it, provide them with items that can help make their space more organized—things like shoe racks, waste bins, or laundry hampers. Just remember, these should be presented as options, not requirements.
Let them take the lead: It’s important that they feel a sense of ownership over their room and personal space. Ask if they would like help or just offer suggestions if they seem open to it. This can reduce feelings of overwhelm while also allowing them to take charge of their environment.
5. Use Positive Affirmations to Reinforce Their Strengths
Children who struggle with anxiety often have a tendency to doubt their abilities. One of the best ways to combat this is through positive reinforcement and affirmations.
Help them reframe negative thoughts: Teach your child to challenge the anxious thoughts they may have by using affirmations that promote resilience.
For example: "I know this feels hard right now, but you can do hard things."
"I’m here for you, and I believe in you."
“Sometimes our brains tell us we can’t do something, but you can tell that voice, ‘I’m not listening to you today.’”
Celebrate effort, not perfection: Reinforce the idea that trying something challenging is a success in itself. “Doing hard things helps us grow stronger, braver, and more creative.”
6. Try New Activities Together
Sometimes, getting out of our comfort zone is the best way to build resilience—and doing it together can strengthen your bond. Try something new and be okay with making mistakes.
Cook or bake a recipe for a loved one: Not only does this teach valuable life skills, but it also gives your child a sense of pride in doing something kind for others.
Try an outdoor activity: Whether it’s going for a nature walk or exploring a new hobby, new experiences offer the chance to practice managing discomfort in a supportive, low-pressure way.
7. Affirm Their Progress, Not Just Their Results
It's important to remind your child that managing anxiety is a process and that every step counts—whether big or small.
Use these affirmations to acknowledge their effort and bravery:
"I see how hard you’re working to face your fears, and I’m so proud of you."
"It’s okay to feel nervous sometimes. You’re still moving forward, and that’s what matters."
“Doing challenging things makes us stronger, and you are growing more courageous every day.”
In Conclusion: You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers
Supporting a child or teen with anxiety doesn’t mean you need to have all the right words or solutions. What matters most is showing up for them in a compassionate, understanding way. By creating an environment of trust, modeling vulnerability, and encouraging small, manageable challenges, you can help your child build the resilience they need to navigate anxiety with confidence.
Remember, anxiety isn’t something to "fix," but rather something to understand and manage over time. By being patient, supportive, and loving, you give your child the best possible foundation to thrive.
Parenting through anxiety can be challenging, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. You have the power to make a real difference in your child’s life, just by showing up with understanding and care. And while anxiety may not disappear overnight, the tools you provide will help them face challenges with strength, resilience, and a sense of hope.
And remember, consult with your child’s doctor or pediatrician to discuss other methods
of working through your child’s anxieties.
